Fictional Fiction

I went on a walk today and suspected I’d be mulling over the poem I’m trying to write on what grieving this first year has been like for me. It’s something I feel I need to put into words, however inadequate. But it’s hard work, and  somehow about half way through my walk all I could do was day dream about the characters in my fictional work of fiction.

I’ll never actually write a novel; mostly because I don’t have a head for plot and because it’s way too much work. Also because the novel I would have written was already written by Bethany Pierce and is called Amy Inspired. With a tweak to the ending, this is would be the exact book I would want to write.

Awhile back, however, I started dreaming up characters for the fictional fiction I will never write, and for some reason today they came pounding on my door. There’s no plot, but there are a few, incredibly hazy characters.

Leah is my main character. Pretty much the idea for my fictional fiction began with me deciding that if I ever wrote a book I wanted the main character to be named Leah, in homage to the biblical Leah–sister of Rachel, accidental wife of Jacob. That story captures my imagination, and Leah always gets my sympathy. My fictional Leah shares the biblical Leah’s sad eyes. (I’m pretty sure the word in my English translations is “weak”, but I like to imagine them sad, so I’m going with it.)

Today I discovered a few more things about Leah. She is a master flower gardener. She loves flowers and grows multitudes of brilliant blooms. She uses her flowers to make arrangements that decorate her church’s alter, and also brighten up many other rooms there. No doubt, her church is very liturgical and she loves the rhythms of liturgical life. I’m quite certain that she also takes her flowers to a nearby nursing home and probably a few other random people, mostly elderly or housebound, I suspect. Leah is, of course, on the quiet side. I kind of hope that she is a painter who creates her own pigments, but I don’t know if this is even possible so it’s quite tentative.

The only other sure piece of character in my novel before tonight was a boy who leans in doorways. Today, he seemed to tell me that his name is Peter, although I’m not quite sure I believe him yet. I suspect he has slightly curly, darkish hair, but pretty much all I know about him is that his posture is important (leaning in doorways, perching on the edge of tables, feet propped on desks, walking that line between confident and arrogant) and that he does not, of course, love Leah. I suspect he’s a creative type, but I haven’t figure out what sort. I think he might also like the stars and planets.

Juliana goes by Juliet, Julie or Jules depending on her mood, season or relationship. She has long flowy hair and long flowy skirts. She wears lots of rings and bracelets. She is (or will be) Leah’s good friend. She is the impending (or possibly current) girlfriend of Peter. She is completely unselfconscious and has that breezy sort of confidence that immediately draws everyone to her. She has an easy laugh and a kind heart. I kind of want her to be artsy as well. Man, one of my characters better be a scientist. Maybe Juliet is a dancer.

Either Peter or Juliet makes an entrance into Leah’s life after the story begins, but I haven’t figured out which one. Are Leah and Peter childhood friends and Juliet Leah’s college friend who suddenly decides to move to Leah’s hometown? Perhaps. Or maybe Leah and Juliet are already good friend and one day there’s Peter leaning in the doorway at the back of  the nave. Hard to say yet.

Leah will also have a sister with a little girl. The little girl will have curly, white blond pigtails in pink hair-ties and everyone will adore her. Maybe Leah’s sister can be an accountant to balance out all this creativity.

These main characters will be made up out of my head and out of a random bits and pieces of people I know. I suspect, however, that there will be some other characters who will come much more directly out of my actual life. I really want Leah to have a neighbor almost exactly like my neighbor Charlie, solar-powered incandescent lawn decorations and all. He’s too perfect a neighbor not to leave mostly intact.

I think Leah will make friends with the homeless-looking guy who hangs out at the grocery store and pushes the shopping carts inside. She’ll probably bring him flowers and get his story, slowly by slowly. I want Leah to do this because I doubt I ever will, even though I want to.

I highly suspect that there will be some sort of refugee family crossing paths with Leah and her friends as well. Maybe they provide plot.

Perhaps.